A Letter to My Depressed Self

I know you are down. I know life seems terrible. You feel like you have no future and that you are capable of nothing.

But you know what? That’s not true. That’s the depression talking.

I don’t believe you have no future. I don’t believe you are incapable.

And you know what else I don’t believe?

I don’t believe life is terrible right now.

It’s got plenty of rough spots I know, and sometimes it seems all rough. But look at the bright places in your life.

You have a beautiful, healthy son who is delightful to be around and relatively easy to parent.

You live in a place which you have come to love.

You have a couple of close friends whom you can talk to–and I mean, really talk to.

You have a loving family who patiently and kindly supports you.

You have good food to eat and enough of it, clean clothes to wear, and a cozy bed to sleep in.

And those are only touching on the big things. There are so many little things that you could point out if only you would take the time to think about them.

Life is good, and you are in a good place.

You are intelligent, you have talents, you have skills.

No, you don’t get paid for them very often right now, but one day you will. I know you have tried and failed. And tried and failed again.

But guess what?

Who doesn’t?

It doesn’t mean you are doomed to failure for all time. You will find the right opportunity. And when it comes, you won’t be afraid of it. You will overcome the fear. It will pass or you will grow bigger than it.

You can do this.

Facing every day seems so hard, but you do it. You get out of bed, you get dressed and put on makeup, you eat a decent breakfast, and then you try to follow a plan.

It doesn’t matter how frequently the days feel like failures. It doesn’t matter how often you spend the day in blackness. You keep pushing on, and that is what is important. You keep trying.

And know that this is not forever.

There is help. You are getting help. There is a a light at the end of the tunnel.

True, you may always be on medication, but as long as you feel better, what does it matter? And you are getting better.

You are.

I know it may not feel like it, but look where you were this time last year. Big improvement? I should say so.

So even though you are down and depressed, do not get lost in it. There are plenty of things to cling to–bright things, happy things. And the best of them is hope, hope for the future.

Because you have one.

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